The Dead Lives

It is extremely common to see the families’ ancestors buried on their land/property. Located in front of their homes or directly off to the side, you will see several graves.  Some families seemed to stack their graves as well. These graves are above the ground coffins made out of marble. Several are adorned with flowers, leis, and anything that may represent that person. It is just breathe taking to see, especially when you respect and understand death.

It took me being with my Grandma Besseye who literally died in my arms to understand death. There is not a day or hour that I don’t think about how we held hands until she went on. I could feel her losing grip within mine. I saw her spirit leave her body. [for a minute, she was talking to one of her sisters] Often times when I am at my parents’ house, I can smell her.  Especially when I am in the room she died in. Although, I usually keep this to myself, I’ll go in there just to smell her. In the year of 2000, I heard her voice say “you get it” as I walked down the hall to my car after I turned in my thesis. She passed away in 1998. No one was in the hall mind you but me! I recognized the voice and immediately cried! It was my Grandma Besseye.

My Pop Pop and Grandma Susie prepared me to get saved! All of those years of dragging me to church so I thought paid off! My bible that is literally losing pages was given to me during my grandpa's funeral. Grandma Susie said, “here Pop Pop told me to give this to you.”  It was not until then that I knew he would be with me. I had felt he died so quickly. Within the same year he was diagnosed with bone cancer, he soon died months later. I had a hard time with that! I had to hop back on the train to D.C from Philly and be a sophomore again at Howard. Boy, did I cry my sophomore year at Howard! Homecoming was not enjoyable that year to say the least. He died 2 weeks before it.

With Memorial Day approaching, my students are starting to wear buttons with their deceased love ones on them. The button has the deceased picture with the sunrise and sunset set date. For example, Sofai, one of the UH cohort coordinators, is currently wearing her father on her chest. He rose June 23^rd and moved on Aug. 7^th. I noticed my student Pelema had a button on in class last night. I get it…I often times wear grandma Susie’s pearls and Grandma Besseye’s wedding ring, and I treat my bible with the upmost respect because it is Deacon Paul Mathis Sr. but I gotta get some buttons made! I want their picture not just in my heart but outwardly visible for others to see. I want to show them off! They are the reason why I am able to do so much. They are the ones who instilled in me love, respect, prayer, and achievement...and props to my parents who were able to carry it out.